Nowadays :/

Hye, another 22nd came by again. Sigh. I don't know, its like cursed or something. I seem to be very miserable on the 22nd, every month since that day. Just let me say something, something i never told before, technically lea. Hmm, that particular Monday. That was the day after, the brake up. It all happens on that Sunday, I was supposed to go to Cikgu Jai's tuition that evening. But, then i skipped the tuition and went to see **. ** asked me if i was okay. I was crying so hard because i thought i was loosing him. Cause, i don't know whats wrong, but i have these feeling where something bad is gonna happen that day. Then ** cooled me down, and asked me to think over. whether i should stay with him or not, cause i was really loosing it. Then an hour after that, I went to my grands house. She was giving me a lecture about my study and all. And ONCE AGAIN, i cried, then she said, its okay, i just need to change and blaa-blaa and all. and NO BOYFRIEND anymore, and if i have one, i should end it. THEENNN, i cried again, and said, "I don't want to! I don't mind changging and all. But i am not gonna break up with him." Then she said, don't be ridiculous and i should leave him. Then i said, "XNAKKK! I am not gonna do that. I love him" Lol. Then my aunty and my cousin laughed. Then, my grand mother said, Okay, I can keep him. But I have to behave. :p Lol.

Then, that night. I went online. And he said hey on msn. Then he asked me, ho was the Hanna Montana concert yesterday. and YEASS, i love Miley :D. Lol. Then, I was kinda moody at that point of time, then i pity him. Cause he was trying to have a nice conversation with me. But then I replied like shit. Sigh. Then, something2 . Then, after a very LOOOOONNGG conversation, he said it. I was trying to ignore that question all day long, but thats what came up. Then that happens. I was crying so hard again. I was still at grands house when that happen, so obviously! The whole house was practically quiet when they saw me cry. My mum was talking to my aunty, she looked at me. She took me by the hand and brought me home. In the car, i was very quiet. My mum said that maybe he needs sometime to think it over and if i really-really love him, i should let him be. Give him space or something. As soon as i reached home, I went to my room and locked myself in. I cried myself to sleep. The next day, I had to go to school. Cause i have an oral exam. Since its Monday, there was an assembly. First, when i reached school, I was extra quiet. Martinie, Athirah and Izzah knows. So they just gave me some space. Then, during the assembly, I saw him. I turned to Izzah and Athirah and told them that I just can't do it. I CANNOT see him. Then they covered for me that day, cause I was miserable. Every TIME, I saw him i'll start crying. Before the assembly Zue and Sya, came to me and comfort me. They did, but then you know, it just won't go away. Cause the feelings, will always be there. Always always, Till now.

I kept on reminding myself, that it'll be so much harder to forget about him, if I were to hate him. Cause obviously, the more you hate that someone, the more you realize that you are still in love with him. But then, in my case, I don't hate him, well, people kept on asking me. Do i hate him? And I answered No, every time without fail. Cause I don't. I never did. But thennnn, why is it soo hard for me to get over him. I don't even like him anymore, seriously. But I really2 love him. Sooo, its I don't like you, but I love you. Stupid dumbdumb! Well, maybe thats why, the first 2 months sucks a lot! The first week sucks. The first day SUCKS EVEN MORE! :S. And the best part is that, he thinks I'm doing great. Everyday.

And thats the story behind the 22nd, But hye! dont worry! I'll survive. :D. Well I did. What I'm trying to say is, Its not easy, and it won't get any easier in the future. Lol. but hye! It's cool! His a friend now, a very good one :) But theres never a day in my life i stopped missing him ;) I still do. Lol, and what u read, is only for your info, and only yours. Hehehe, My quotes for today is,

"It’s hard to tell your mind to stop loving someone when your heart still does."

Well okay people, sorry for the dramatic story :S Lol, hye, I couldn't have survived without my Bestfriends :) Cause you know what? No matter who broke your heart, or how long it takes to heal, you’ll never get through it without your friends. And I got mine :DByebye